Occam's Taser

Occam's Razor, plainly put, is the belief that when all things are considered in this crazy world, the simplest answer is usually the right one. I would submit, then, that Occam's Taser is, theoretically, whatever can be defined as the simplest thing for disrupting voluntary control. In our household, that simple thing is the television set.

Put anyone, anyone at our house in front of the TV, and suddenly chaos comes to a screeching halt. An eerie quiet reigns. Police use tasers to subdue fleeing, belligerent, or potentially dangerous subjects, and the television serves essentially the same purpose here at home. You'll see nary a movement nor hear a sound as subjects sit stunned, eyes glazed over, in front of reruns of Glee, or the Sarah Connor Chronicles, or the football game, or America's Next Top Model. I won't tell you who watches what, and you wouldn't believe me anyway.

Sadly, this is my own doing; in a weak, weary moment just after the birth of Claire, I said, "I guess it would be nice to watch something mindless once in awhile." Just a few days later, a 51-inch plasma HDTV on an elevator (seen above from the back, much more elegant from that side...) appeared at the foot of the bed. "Just a temporary situation" said the AV guy to his wife, who had only briefly ever owned a television and never, ever really wanted one. At least we don't have cable.

Unlike believers in Platonic or Aristotelian ideals, William of Ockam believed that concrete things (both animate and inanimate) exist in and of themselves. Any importance that humans assign them comes solely from the human mind. In his nominalist view of the world, I wonder what he would have thought of the sudden appearance of Tyra Banks in his bedchamber? I don't know, but surely there is a simple answer...