Reading List

"Hi, my name is Philomere, and I have a book problem." "Hi Philomere." "It's been 47 days since I last bought a book." Clapping of hands, affirmations, general nods of approval... Really, someone needs to start a 12-step program for compulsive book buyers.

They jump up and down when they see me coming into Book Passage. I went in there yesterday to purchase one book, just one, and I had a legitimate reason for buying A Platter of Figs (more on that tomorrow), but Olives and Oranges was sitting right there...and then...and then... "Will that be all?" says the bookseller with a knowing look in his eye. He's got my number.

When I get home, I decide it's time for me to take responsibility for my issues. Accountability. Isn't that one of the steps? So I pull out all the books I've purchased or been given in the last year or so, the ones I haven't read, or started to read, all the ones I'm trying to read in tandem. I start stacking them up, and it isn't pretty: soon, the tower is over four feet tall and I have to stop for fear that it will topple and crush one of my children.

To his credit, my husband doesn't say, "What exactly is it that you're doing, anyway?" until I start to put them all away. He says it nonchalantly, not exactly looking at me, the way you would speak to a lunatic you're trying to keep calm until you can get her to a hospital. "These are all the books I'm going to read before I can buy another one," I say with determination.

Sadly, the stack doesn't include the 3-foot pile of periodicals, or the Photoshop instruction manual, or all the other educational materials I hope to peruse. The real travesty is that I usually only have time for reading when I'm sitting in the car line to pick Claire up from school, so I've started showing up at the front of the line an hour before school gets out. Obviously, I need help. Sponsorship, anyone?